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Finding and understanding yourself


Jessica Rider

In first Kings chapter 13 we learn the story of the many of God and how he went back on the word of God to not eat or drink or return on the road he had gone.  But he listened to a man, a prophet that had lied to him about turning back.  In life, I feel this has so many correlations but mostly within yourself.  We can be our biggest advocates but at the same time our biggest naysayers.  "Finding yourself" is always a journey, but the biggest step along that path is to find where you are lying to yourself. 

In the alchemist we learn to follow our hearts, that God has placed something in each of our hearts that is our own personal legends, and it is up to us to fulfill it by listening to the omens.  In Kings the man of God had something placed on his heart by God, and he didn't listen when tempted the most.  We are tempted every day to go against what is placed in our hearts and, as the man of God did, follow a path that is not ours to follow.  Understanding yourself truly is listening to what is placed in your heart, seeking out answers to the omens you see and not giving in to those around you and most importantly to yourself.  

Many challenges will lie ahead for me personally in life and in business and I choose to see all of them as tests.  Tests that come at the exact right time I need to pass them, so the next part of my personal legend journey can be revealed.  I am going through a test, or a few, right now and while I cracked for a split second I did not break, I did not go back on what is placed in my heart.  I chose to remember my legend, my path, and accept that this is a test.  It is unknown and worrisome but not listening to my heart is more bothersome than just listening to the omens and taking the next step.  The trick to all of this is remembering my ego and not letting that voice rain louder than my heart.  

Ironically I wrote this in my journal five days before my mom took her own life.  I thought the test I started 2023 with was the test when in reality five days later the biggest test of my life was coming.  Understanding the test is not our job, passing the tests is what we are meant to do.

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